


Mary, May I?

by Artemis_Day



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Do not take bolded portions seriously., F/M, Humor, Mary Sue, Parody Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 10:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Day/pseuds/Artemis_Day
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tamaki Suoh is having a great time now that he's finally dating his best friend and long time crush, Gianna Tsuki. Really, he couldn't be happier... until he realizes Haruhi is missing and he's been dating a complete stranger for the last week and a half.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wendee, May I?

**Tamaki Suoh wuz walking down the halls of Ouran academy one day. He was very happy because his best friend and long time crush, Gianna Tsuki had finaly decided to go out with him. They were very happy together because Gianna had secretly been in love with Tamaki for a long time too.**

**"Tamaki!"**

**Tamaki turned around and saw the amazing sight of his best friend and now girlfriend, Gianna Tsuki.**

**She was a head shorther then him with long, flowing hair that was the color of the ocean and big deep blue eyes he was always getting lost in. she had pale white skin that was totally flawless except fpr a birthmark just above her right eye that was shaped like a dragonfly. But it was okay because she was still beautiful.**

**She wore an Ouran girls uniform but without the puffy sleeves because those are lame. Instead she has regalar sleeves and the dress is also black instead of yellow because the school decided Gianna looked better in black. The bow is also shaped like a skull and is made with red silk from China.**

**Tamaki was so happy to see his beloved Gianna that he grabbed her and kissed her in front of everybody and they all gasped but Tamaki and Gianna didn't care.**

**"I missed you," Tamaki whispered in Gianna's ear that was kind of pointy like she was a fairy (but she's not because this isn't a fantasy story lol)**

**"I missed you too," said Gianna delicately.**

**She breathd in Tamaki's ear and it was like angel's singing. Tamaki couldn't take it and kissed her again and everyone gasped again.**

**Then Gianna walked Tamaki to class. She was an advanced student because she learned to read when she was three and spoke 32 languages that she learned in kindergarten, so she got to go to the college classes even though she could have graduated ten years ago if she wanted.**

**Tamaki sat with his best friend Kyoya, who was a mean person and wuz mean to Tamaki a lot but secretly wuz nice and loves Tamaki very much. But he loves Gianna more but he doesn't say anything becuz he know Tamaki luv her too and she luv him. Kyoya's a good friend.**

**Later, during the Host Club, Tamaki is entertaining guests, but he is really just looking at Gianna who has her own guests.**

**Tamaki met Gianna when she transferred to Ouran from the school for genius children she used to go to. But she was rapped and abused their for fiftten years and so she left and wnet to Oruan. She likes it much better because Tamaki is here. She joined the Host Club when she broke a very expensive vase and couldn't pay for it because she is poor. They thought she was a boy so they made her a host until they found out she was a girl and then she stayed a host anyway.**

**She laughed and whipped her long ocean blu hair form her face. Her laugh was like a heavenly choir and Tamaki sighed happily. His guests sighed too because they all loved Gianna but they loved Tamaki too.**

**"I love you, Gianna," says Tmaki on they're date later on.**

**"I love you too, Tamaki," sayd Gianna and then she kissed him and they kissed for elven minutes.**

**Then they walked through the gardens and throught about how much they loved each other forever and ever and ever and ever.**

**Gianna had to leave early because the government needed her. She is secretly a spy and goes on lots of missions and saves the world all the time like Kim Possible only a lot cooler and Tamaki is way sexier than Ron.**

**Nobody knows expect Tamaki and he keeps Giana's secret because he loves her.**

**"Be careful," he tells Gianna before she leves.**

**"I will," she says with lots of emotion. "Just remmeber not to tell anyone where I am. No on can no I am spy. I must be totally unconspicous."**

**Then a giant helicopter appeared to take Gianna on her mission and the stereos played the song Bad Romance because that song is awesom and it's totally Gianna's theme song so she plays it on all her missions.**

**The pilot drops a lader for Gianna and she gave Tamaki one more kiss before going to go on her awesome mission to save the world again.**

**Tamaki watches her go and smiles, thinking he's so lucky to have such a wonderful, awesome, gorgeous, beautiful, talented, wonderful girlfirend.**

**Then he goes into his big facny mansion to think more and wait fro his Gianna to cum back too him.**

SLIP

"AAH!"

**BAM**

**TWENTY SECONDS LATER**

Tamaki's eyes shoot open. He took in the sideways view of the Second Estate's magnificent garden and felt the cool, smooth stepping stones against his throbbing forehead. Groaning, Tamaki pushed himself up and rubbed his head, sparing a glance at the large rock he'd just tripped over and trying to remember what he had been doing. For some odd reason, it was all a big blur.

Closing his eyes tight, he struggled to remember amid the pounding pain. Then a light bulb went off in his head and it all came back to him.

"That's right," he exclaimed with a chuckle. "I was just seeing Gianna off… Wait a minute, who's Gianna?"

His face fell as his eyes darted this way and that in helpless confusion. He didn't understand it, but it appeared he was dating this girl he didn't even know.

A girl with aqua blue hair.

Who was also a super genius.

And a spy.

Whom he was _dating._

Maybe he was wrong, but those sounded like things one would have an easy time remembering.

He was still pondering this when another, more terrifying thought occurred to him.

"Where is Haruhi?"


	2. Gianna, May I?

Tamaki ran through the halls of Ouran, pushing passed other student without a care for their surprise or annoyance at him. He needed to get to class fast and find Kyoya.

He'd tried calling Haruhi last night, only to hear a cool female voice tell him that the number was currently not in use. He then tried getting his driver to take him to the apartment complex she lived in, but Shima caught him leaving and demanded he go upstairs and do his homework. All of Tamaki's protests were ignored.

Desperation increasing, Tamaki called his best friend, but couldn't get through no matter how many times or how many numbers he tried. The rest of the club had been the same, even his own father was unreachable. Tamaki slept fitfully that night, fretting over Haruhi's whereabouts and his inability to contact the others and _who in God's name was this Gianna person and WHY WAS HE DATING HER?_

His nightmares reflected this.

All in all, it was nota good night's sleep for Tamaki Suoh.

He frantically flew down corners and hallways, giving an audible cheer when he spotted the open door of his homeroom. Inside, he found Kyoya immediately, seated at the desk right behind him as usual and going over the textbook chapters of the day. Tamaki ran over and sat down, his chair sliding to the side from the force.

"KYOYA!" Tamaki snapped his fingers in the young man's face, desperate for answers and not caring when his best friend gave a low growl like an angered animal.

"You're particularly manic today, Tamaki," Kyoya said, closing his textbook. "Problem?"

"A big problem," Tamaki gave an overenthusiastic nod. "Haruhi's missing!"

Kyoya stared at him, an eyebrow arching slowly.

"We haven't seen her in days!" He went on, tears streaming down his face. "I tried calling her, but her phone has been disconnected! Kyoya, please tell me you know where she is and aren't telling me. Is she on vacation with her commoner friends or have she and Ranka-san gone to visit Misuzu-san or-"

"Tamaki!" Kyoya yelled and slammed his fist against the desk. Both actions instantly shut Tamaki up. "I don't have the time or the patience for a freak out today. Now, tell me calmly what's bothering you."

"Calmly…? CALMLY?" Tamaki exploded. "HOW CAN I BE CALM WHEN MY PRECIOUS HARUHI IS MISSING?"

By now, most of the students lounging around before class were watching Tamaki's panic attack. Kyoya was torn between feeling embarrassed for his friend or just plain annoyed with him. There was possibly a tiny amount of concern for his sanity in there as well.

"Tamaki, I have no idea what you're talking about," he said matter-of-factly. "Who is this Haruhi?"

"SHE COULD BE IN CAPTIVITY AND AUCTIONED OFF TO TERRORISTS AS A SEX SLAVE OR FORCED TO JOIN THE CIRCUS AND BE A LION TAMER OR what did you just say?"

Kyoya rolled his eyes while Tamaki came down from his screaming fit. Not that he felt any calmer after the bomb his best friend had just dropped on him. Kyoya shook his head.

"I don't get it," he growled, sitting back down and glaring evilly at the onlookers to get rid of them. "You're such an idiot, what does she see in you?"

"Wha-," Tamaki's mouth fell open and his hands moved rapidly around, grabbing at the air. This whole thing was devolving into a mess of bizarreness to the point where he expected Rod Serling to appear at any moment. He could even hear the creepy theme music in his head.

"Hey, everyone," he random kid Tamaki had never seen before ran inside. "She's coming!"

The entire class gasped and stood up. Two boys were hugging each other and squealing like fan girls. Another one had fainted dead away. Even Kyoya was on his feet, though in true Kyoya fashion, he maintained an air of dignity and superiority, even as a very un-Kyoya like smile spread across his features.

"Look sharp, Tamaki," he hissed to his hopelessly confused best friend. "Your girlfriend is here."

Tamaki just stared at him. "Girlfriend… you mean that- Kyoya, don't you see? That's what's wrong here! I don't have a girlfriend and Haruhi is-"

The door opened with a creek, allowing the new arrival to step though. Something about the graceful sound of her steps got Tamaki to look away from his friend and in the newcomer's direction.

**And Tamaki wuz so happy because Gianna was being beheld by him. She wuz so beautiful with her ocean hair up in a huge pony tail that was huge and looked sort of like that one chick from Gurren Lagann with the big breasts only Gianna would never dress all slutty like that. She's way too classy and refined.**

**"Hi Tamaki," she said with happily, 'I'm back form my super secret assingment and I totally saved the world again!"**

**"That's awesomesauce," Tamaki cheered and swung Gianna into his big strong arms. "I am so proud of you, Gianna. I love You!"**

**"I love you too Tamaki!" Gianna screamed and huggled Tamaki to her bosum. "I also stopped in Milano and got this dress for the prom tomorrow night! It's mad by Vesachi and it's made of silk and diamonds and silver!"**

**It's look so great when your wearing it, Gianna!" Tamaki smiled gladly. 'You'll be even more of a goddess then you already are!"**

**Then they kissed and the school radio played 'Dance in the Dark' beaus that's totally Tamaki and Gianna's song! And evenone gasped and Kyoya wuz gealous but he didn't say nothing and everyone clapped for them.**

**"Well, I have to get to my super special advansed class now. Bye Tamaki!" Said Gianna**

**"Bye Gianna" said Tamaki with lovingly**

**"Bye Gianna: said everyone else expect Kyoya who wuz too in awe of Gianna's beauty to speak.**

**Then Gianna left and wuz escorted to her classroom bye the trained ninjas who followed her everywhere because she's important to the goverment and people are always trying to kiddnap her even though she's the best fighter in the world!**

Tamaki jolted awake. Well, 'awake' may not be the best word since he knew he wasn't asleep. The best way to describe it would probably be 'came out of a trance'.

It made no sense! The second that Gianna girl had walked in, everyone seemed to lose close to 100 IQ points and start lavishing attention onto this, frankly, bizarre looking girl like she was the second coming of Christ. Even Kyoya had been doing it! He himself had been caught under her wicked spell!

And he still had no idea where Haruhi was!

"What is this," Tamaki muttered, running both hands through his hair as a vein popped out of his forehead. "What's happening here? Has the world gone mad?"

"I don't know," Kyoya snidely responded. "But you certainly have."

"Mr. Suoh," the Professor called out as he walked through the door. "Please take your seat."

Still frantic, Tamaki eyed the stone faced teacher and shook his head.

"I-I'm sorry," he staggered away from his desk. "I'm not- not feeling too well. I need to go."

Tamaki exited the room amid voices of concern and a teacher trying to call him back. He didn't care, all that mattered was that Haruhi was gone and everyone else had either forgotten her or completely lost their minds. The only shred of comfort he could derive from this was the fact that there was nothing else that could possibly make it any worse.

"Did you see Gianna-sama just now?"

Tamaki started at the familiar voice. He didn't need to see it's owner to know who it was.

"She looked so beautiful," Hunny-senpai went on as he and Mori-senpai came into sight all the way down the hall. "Her hair is so lovely today. But then it's always lovely, isn't it…"

The wistful tone of Hunny-senpai's voice bothered Tamaki immensely.

"Yes, it's true," Mori-senpai's reverberating voice answered. "She's like the ocean waves crashing along the coastline. Her beauty outshines all others. If she weren't Tamaki's, I'd make her mine!"

"Me too," Hunny agreed with a nod. "I love Gianna more than Usa-chan and cakes combined!"

"And I love her more than you, Mistukuni," Mori answered with a gentle smile.

Tamaki melted away and his brain underwent a figurative car crash while the twosome disappeared into their own classroom. In the few minutes it took for Tamaki's brain to reboot itself, his body slid further and further down until he was sprawled out on the carpet. Through the closed door of the nearest classroom, he distinctly heard a professor berating a disruptive student, saying "you need to clean up your act if you ever want to be as smart as Gianna!"

Tamaki sprang up, his breath coming out ragged. This was made worse when he took off running down the hall and out the front door. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed 110.

"Police Department," a bored sounding voice answered after two rings.

"Hello?" Tamaki could hardly keep himself from screaming. "You have to help me, my beloved daughter has gone missing! Well, technically she's not my daughter… I mean she is, but in the sense that I love her like a daughter. We're not actually related by blood, only by the bonds of love and-"

"Sir, could you _please_ get to the point?"

Tamaki flushed red. "Yes, sorry. Anyway, HELP! MY BELOVED HARUHI IS MISSING!"

"… Haruhi Fujioka?"

"YES!" Tamaki shouted back, not bothering to wonder how the dispatcher knew Haruhi's last name. "She's been missing for days! Please, you have to send every available officer to search for her. And all the unavailable ones too! I can pay for their services if necessary! JUST PLEASE FIND MY HARUHI!"

There was some shuffling and unintelligible whispering at the other end. Tamaki waited with baited breath, but at the same time jumped in his waiting transport and ordered the driver to go.

"Alright sir, could you please come down to the station?" The voice said, followed by another pause. "We uh… we need to take your statement before we can begin our search for your friend."

Tamaki nodded between deep gasps of air. "Yes, alright. Thank you."

Hanging up, Tamaki directed his driver to head for the police station. He then collapsed against the leather bound seats and stared out the window at the blur of passing buildings. His eyes traveled without truly seeing anything aside from his mental vision of Haruhi's smiling face.

 _'Where is she?'_ he thought miserably to himself. _'Why doesn't anyone else notice she's gone? Are they really so blinded by that Gianna girl that they've completely forgotten my Haruhi? And for that matter, who is Gianna, and why are we dating? This doesn't make any sense unless…'_

Tamaki gasped and shoot up.

"Of course!" He shouted, then flew to the side of the limo when his sudden and very loud exclamation startled the driver and made him swerve to one side. "Ow… Gianna must know something about Haruhi's disappearance! Or maybe she caused it! Maybe she's some kind of alien sent to take over the world, or a robot clone from the future who has Haruhi captured for dissection. Or what if-"

"Suoh-san," the driver called out. "We're here."

Tamaki blinked, now noticing that the limo was stationary and the sign on the building just out his window read clearly: BUNKYO POLICE DEPARTMENT.

Tamaki remained dumbstruck only a second longer, then shot up out of the limo like a human sized rocket which then soared out of the limo, through the window paned double doors and into the station.

Sweating profusely, Tamaki took in his surroundings, feeling a growing sense of dread when he realized he was the only one in the room. No one stood behind the desk; no one was sitting handcuffed to the side; no one was answering the ringing telephone. Tamaki fought his eerie feelings and the ever growing urge to run.

"Hello? Is anyone here?"

Tamaki heard a thump and whirled around, relieved to find a pair of police officers staring back at him, frowning deeply.

"Oh, there you are," Tamaki smiled at them and walked over. "For a second there, I thought I was completely alone."

No sooner where the words out of his mouth did the policeman closest to him suddenly grab him by the neck and pull him into a chokehold. Tamaki screamed, but it was cut off when the man squeezed his throat tighter. The Host King twisted around in the large man's grip, kicking his legs out in a vain attempt to gain leverage or possibly get the second man in the stomach as he came closer. Tamaki watched the second man pull a syringe out of his pocket and his already massive swell of fear grew. He fought against his restrainer harder than ever.

"No!" He choked out, slamming his head into the first man's barrel chest. "Let go!"

"Calm down," the second man smirked, removing the cover of the syringe. "This will only hurt for a few seconds."

Tamaki groaned, sweat pouring down his face. He was absolutely terrified, but he wasn't ready to give up just yet. He pulled up an arm and elbowed the man in the stomach once, twice, five times while the second man fumbled with the syringe.

"Would you hurry up?" The first man cried. "He's getting touch to hold on to."

With a scream, Tamaki brought his elbow down one final time with all his strength, digging the bone into the man's gut. The large man grunted in pain, his grip loosening for a mere moment, and Tamaki used the momentum to wrench himself free and shove the second man to the ground before sprinting out the door.

"Son of a BITCH!" He heard one of them shout. "Go after him!"

"We can't," the other man responded just as Tamaki ran out of earshot.

He noted that his limousine had mysteriously vanished, leaving him to keep running. He pushed past people going in the opposite direction, desperate to get away, but to where, he didn't know. He had no idea what to do next. Nothing made sense to him anymore.

Haruhi was gone, everyone had forgotten about her, they were all being hypnotized by this alien robot person Gianna Tsuki, and now the police were trying to kill him. Tamaki gave a nervous laugh.

"'Nothing could possibly make this worse," he repeated his earlier thoughts. "Shouldn't have done that…"

He slowed to a walk, still not sure where he was going but unable to run anymore. Tamaki wondered if he should go home or try to contact his father. Would he know anything, or was he brainwashed just like everyone else? It occurred to him that he may be all alone in the world now. Tamaki stopped at the crosswalk and waited for the red light to change. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around, only to immediately regret it when deep blue eyes stared back into his.

**Tamaki's sadness went away when he saw his beloved Gianna! She was an angel, not literly cause this still isn't a fantasy fic but figertivly!**

**"Oh, Gianna!" Tamaki was so happy he almost flew. "How did you get her so fast?"**

**"I had my secret spy helicopter take me," Gianna pointed at her secret spy helicopter. "I just missed you so much!"**

**"I missed you too!" Tamaki kissed Gianna and they made out for a long time while people watched and played Dance in the Dark and everyone danced to it and stuff.**

"Gah!" Tamaki screamed as the spell came off him again. "WHY DOES THAT KEEP HAPPENING?"

Passerby stared at him, giving weird looks, but didn't answer his question. He looked up and found the VERY conspicuous helicopter had vanished completely. Almost as if it had never been there. Something else caught Tamaki's attention, a funny blue light out the corner of his eye. Switching focus, Tamaki gasped at the sight of Gianna's blue hair whipping through a human-sized vortex that gave off neon blue light and seemed to slide past the vision of everyone that wasn't Tamaki.

Gazing at the impossible sight before him sent something off in Tamaki's mind, and he ran straight through the vortex after Gianna. He didn't care where he ended up, be it an alternate dimension or Mars or a planet for evil robots or anything else along those lines. Tamaki wanted answers and by God, he was going to get them. He barely even noticed when the vortex closed up behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to get it yet? See you next chapter.


	3. Kate, May I?

_Whiteness surrounded Tamaki. To his left and right, up and down, in front and in back… just unsettling blank white that drove him to run faster. After what seemed like an eternity of nothingness, Tamaki saw a hole open up in front of Gianna, and he broke into a run to reach it before it closed up._

_The next thing Tamaki saw when his vision came back into focus was a moderately sized, sparsely decorated western style room. The walls were off white and bare, a small window on one side and an even bigger one on another. A bed was pushed up against the corner, a small nightstand right beside it. A couch rested a few feet away, complete with a small coffee table. Next to him, Tamaki found a wooden dresser, books and various knick knacks piled on top in an unorganized mess._

_And Gianna stood right next to it._

_"Hey!" Tamaki reached out, intending to spin her around and demand answers._

_She stepped out of reach and quickly removed a flesh-colored bracelet from her wrist. It had been completely unnoticeable when Gianna was wearing it, but now Tamaki could clearly see it's rubber like quality along with the words stamped all the way around it's circumference._

_M.S. CORP_

_Tamaki blinked, turning the letters over and over in his mind trying to understand their meaning. Strange movement out the corner of his eye ended that train of thought. Tamaki watched, utterly stunned, as Gianna's odd waist length blue hair literally receded into her head and changed to an average mouse brown. She lost several inches in height and gained a significant amount around her waist line. In the space of three seconds, the unnaturally beautiful Gianna had transformed into an, honestly, rather plain young woman._

_She gave a long sigh, scratching at her cropped hair and turned around. Her eyes widened a bit when she saw Tamaki, but otherwise, she seemed entirely unbothered by his presence._

_"I knew it," she muttered, rubbing the bridge of her nose between two fingers. "I guess you want an explanation, huh, Tamaki?"_

_Wordlessly, he nodded, the truckload of questions in his mind full to bursting. The girl nodded and motioned for her couch and Tamaki's quivering legs somehow managed to cross then room and plop him down beside 'Gianna.'_

_The girl laced her fingers together in her lap and exhaled deeply out her nose. Tamaki watched her every move, half expecting a futuristic gun to pop out of her arm at any moment. Or perhaps she'd pull back the skin on her head to reveal a bulbus alien head underneath. These increasingly out there thoughts did little to relax or even agitate Tamaki, they merely helped him figure out what question he should ask first._

_"Who are you?"_

_She clicked her tongue. "I had a feeling you'd ask that."_

_Tamaki scowled at her._

_"Well, first of all, my name isn't really Gianna Tsuki. It's Kate, Kate Forrest."_

_Kate held out a hand and Tamaki very cautiously took it. He pulled away fast after two wooden shakes, still not trusting this strange girl._

_"Where is Haruhi?" This question was more a demand and may have sounded a bit more rude than Tamaki would have liked, but he could hardly find it in him to care at the moment. "What have you done with her?"_

_"Nothing," Kate answered calmly. "She's fine, she's just in incubation right now."_

_"Incubation?" Tamaki cried, shooting to his feet. "What does that mean?"_

_"Would you calm down?" Kate exclaimed, standing up as well. "Just let me explain everything. Sit."_

_She pointed to the couch, and gave a fervent gesture when he didn't obey fast enough. Once both were seated again, Kate regained her bearings and went on._

_"This isn't the easiest thing to explain," she shook her head slightly. "Even I don't understand all of it. It's a lot of physics stuff and math was never my thing…"_

_Kate trailed off when she noticed Tamaki's glare and coughed nervously._

_"Right. Well, before anything else, you should know that you're currently in a different universe than your own."_

_Tamaki had no answer to that. He wasn't even sure he'd heard her right. Kate waited a moment to see if he'd respond, and continued when he didn't._

_"This universe is the same as yours in a lot of ways," she said reassuringly. "But different in several others. For one thing… oh boy, this isn't easy."_

_"Just tell me," Tamaki pressed._

_Kate jumped, as if not expecting him to say anything._

_"Well…" she paused again. "The thing is around here… you're kinda sorta a fictional character."_

_Tamaki blinked, then he opened and closed his mouth, then he blinked again. "…what?"_

_"See, you're part of a popular shojo series called Ouran High School Host Club. Whenever a show gets really big, fans with creative talents… and some without… will draw fanart and dress up as their favorite characters and, if they have the patience, write fan fiction. That's where I come in._

_"My company, M.S. Corp, deals primarily with a certain type of fan fiction, the type that new writers tend to go towards more than any other. See, in regards to your show, you are what's known as a 'canon character:' a character created by the original writer. Fanfic writers will often be so enamored with the story, that they'll desire to have a place in it, or at least a character that can represent themselves and interact with the canon characters in their place. These are 'Original Characters' and my job is to play the part of an original character in any given fanfic. Gianna is just one in a long line of OC's I've had to play."_

_Kate stopped, maintaining eye contact with Tamaki._

_"I- I don't understand," he said in a slight daze._

_Kate sighed. "Okay… basically, an Original Character placed in an established universe such as your own is considered a foreign element. If written well, they can find a place within the story being told, but they're still non-canon and therefore not truly belonging to the canon universe. Gianna is one of those characters. Because she is a foreign element, she would be unable to exist on your world without someone to essentially play her role. My company employs thousands of actors to go into various universes and play Original Characters. That bracelet you saw me take off is company issued and has several purposes._

_"See, I'm not from your universe, I don't belong there just like you don't belong in this one. That bracelet acts as a sort of shield, keeping my presence in any given universe from being rejected… or something. I don't know, all the physics and crap makes my head hurt._

_"Anyway, it's other purpose is to change my appearance into that of the OC I'm playing at the time. The company really deals in every type of fanfic, but OC-fics are first priority, followed closely by the other most widespread type."_

_"Which is?" Tamaki felt a weight in his throat as the words slipped past his lips. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach, as if he knew instinctively that he wouldn't like the answer._

_But before Kate could give one, the door swung open, granting a very small and very unhappy figure entrance._

_"Dammit, Kate, why was the goddamn front door locked? AGAIN?"_

_Tamaki was taken aback by the young man's language, but Kate was unaffected._

_"It wouldn't hurt your precious masculinity to admit you forgot your key, Jared."_

_The one called Jared growled and slammed the door hard enough to leave a large crack. This astonished Tamaki, as the young man didn't look like he had the strength to even crack open a peanut. Jared had a baby face, accented by tousled blonde hair and large blue eyes perpetually wide in a feminine way. In fact, everything about Jared's appearance screamed 'effeminacy,' from his face to his muscle free body. The young man spared Tamaki a disinterested gaze._

_"Who's this loser?" he questioned an unamused Kate._

_"This_ loser," _she answered flatly. "Is Tamaki Suoh, from Ouran High School Host Club."_

_Jared pursed his lips and eyeballed Tamaki again. The Host King stood up at full height, disregarding his earlier judgments of the young man, and put on a smile._

_"Hello, it's nice to meet you," the cheerful Tamaki held out a hand. "Jared, was it?"_

_Jared reared back a fist and sank it hard into Tamaki's stomach. He gasped and staggered back, falling heavily onto the couch beside the now infuriated Kate._

_"JARED!" She screamed. "What the hell is wrong with you?"_

_"He was mocking me!" The short man snapped. "You saw him, standing there all tall and looking down on me. It's not like I can help this shit contract I'm under that keeps me like this! No need to show off your 6.3455343 feet around here like you're some kind of… of… Tallness God!"_

_Meanwhile, Tamaki was struggling to breathe, having had the wind knocked out of him. Kate gave Jared a shove and turned to him, assisting him in sitting up._

_"I'm so sorry, Jared is a little… self conscious about his height and he takes it out on everyone taller than him because he's an ass."_

_"I can HEAR you!" Jared screamed childishly._

_"Good," Kate muttered. "You're an ass… anyway, Jared here works for that other branch I was about to tell you about. See, some fan girls aren't into OCs-"_

_"Don't you mean Mary Sues?" Jared but in._

_"OCs!" Kate forcefully repeated. "Some fans don't like them. Some prefer to pair up two of the male characters that they think would make a good couple, or just plain look good together. That's Jared's job. He specifically plays the role of non-gay canon characters who are put into the submissive role in these yaoi fics. Essentially, he's an uke double."_

_"Kate, could you NOT talk about my suck filled existence when I'm present?"_

_"…he's not really fond of the job."_

_Tamaki stared at Kate, then he stared at Jared, then Kate again, then Jared, and so on and so forth. It got to the point where he wasn't even fully aware of what he was looking at as the information that he was a fictional character started to sink in._

_"Okay," he spoke softly. "What you're saying is that I'm not real and people are writing stories about me and my friends that distort our minds and actions? And make my Haruhi disappear?"_

_"Well, that doesn't always happen," Kate answered with a thoughtful expression. "Sometimes, they just- what are you doing?"_

_Tamaki sunk lower and lower into the cushions, his entire body going white in a way that probably shouldn't be possible in the real world. A low, steady moan emitting from his slightly hung open mouth._

_"He's taking this pretty well," Jared observed with a shrug. Kate glared at him._

_"So," Tamaki muttered, regaining himself somewhat. "Now that I know, can I… you know, stop them? The people writing these things?"_

_Kate looked into Tamaki's pleading eyes and sadly shook her head. "I'm sorry, you can't. As long as they don't try to make any money off it, they can write as much as they want."_

_The blonde's face fell. He looked down at the couch, unable to bare Kate's sympathetic gaze any longer._

_"But you know," he heard her say. "There is one thing you could do."_

_Tamaki lifted his head, hopefulness piqued spite of everything._

_"What?" he eagerly asked._

_Kate exhaled deeply and grabbed some bottled water off the coffee table. She took a long drink and set it back down, as if implying that she had a lot to say._

_"Well the thing is, you're not the first to learn all of this. Other characters from other fictional universes like Harry Potter, Bleach and Fullmetal Alchemist have all made contact with us and discovered the things being written about them. Most of them were… not happy, let's say."_

_"Not happy?" Jared snorted. Tamaki almost jumped at the sound of his voice, having forgotten the angry young man was there. "Are you kidding? We've had to rebuild the lobby fifteen times from the temper tantrums these Prima Donnas throw! Remember what Elric did to the garden after he found out about the yaoi? I think the gardener is still in therapy!"_

_"Ignore him," Kate hissed through grit teeth at Tamaki. "The point is, they didn't like it, same as you. So the company started negotiating contracts with them to determine what type of fics would be allowed to go down in their universes. See, when you're not under contract, you have to play yourself in absolutely anything, no exceptions. With the contract, you can state what kind of fics you don't want your world to have personal involvement in, such as heavily OC centered fics like the one we just came from, or yaoi fics or just fics that pair you with a non-canon love interest. It's all up to you._

_"After that, those fics will be staged in what's known as 'Empty Space.' It's that white void we were in before, remember? That space is where all new fictional universes are born, and since it's infinite, we also use it to stage the fics that we are contractually obligated to. All the canon characters are played by actors and stunt doubles, and you never have to see or hear of them unless you do an internet search. You following me, Tamaki?"_

_The Host King had gone back to melting off the couch and letting out an oddly echoing moan while blood leaked out his ears. Kate face palmed._

_"Alright, just come with me," she grabbed Tamaki and pulled him up, leading him towards the door with Jared on their tails._

_**  
Tamaki walked in a still fading daze, his eyes going in fifty directions at once as he, Kate and Jared passed numerous cubicle offices and board meeting rooms._

_M.S. Corp looked no different than any office building he'd ever been to. Aside from the different décor, it was nothing he hadn't seen ten times before while attending business trips with his father. That didn't stop the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, like he was on a planet with no oxygen. Kate was still prattling on about the company and how the contracts worked and Jared was sulking and glaring at everyone who walked by, particularly those in any way taller than him. Tamaki had to wonder if this 'uke double' job of Jared's was really that bad._

_"So when we see the Vice-president, he'll explain all this better than I can, and then you two can discuss the terms of the contract, and if you want, we could get Haruhi out of incubation and send some employees to get the rest of your friends."_

_"Other actors?" Tamaki asked._

_"Yeah, those bracelets are specially made and cost a lot of money, so they can't make them for just any old employee. The OC actors are the only ones who can go anywhere in a fictional universe. Regular employees can only tay in places that are shielded off. There are bases like that in every universe in cases there's an emergency and an actor can't get back on their own. it's also the place we bring characters who've figured things out, like you. I believe it's a police station in your world."_

_Tamaki, who was merely letting Kate's words go in one ear and out the other, was brought to rapt attention by the final part of her speech._

_"POLICE STATION?" He screamed, drawing quite a bit of attention. "I was attacked in one!"_

_Kate and Jared sent bewildered glances at each other._

_"What are you talking about?" Jared asked._

_"I went there to get help finding Haruhi, and they tried to stick me with a needle or something!" Tamaki ranted, waving his arms and running around like a chicken with it's head cut off._

_Neither of the 'real world' people were fazed beyond annoyed sighs and forehead rubbing._

_"That will have been Bill and Frank," Kate explained._

_"They're both retarded," Jared cut in. "You're supposed to just calmly explain the situation to the characters before bringing them here, but those two hate talking so they just knock you out and drag you through the vortex."_

_"That syringe was probably just a sedative or something," Kate went on._

_They spent the next half hour trying to coax (or in Jared's case, beat) Tamaki out of a nearby corner._

_**  
"This isn't going to work."_

_"Knock it off, Jared."_

_"No, I'm telling you, the Vice-President's an asshole who'd rather sell his daughter to circus clowns for five bucks than spend any money on building sets. This will not work."_

_"Jared!" Kate whirled around, scowling angrily at her longtime friend. "Are you trying to get him back in the corner?"_

_The two continued to bicker, but Tamaki was too busy taking in the large, imposing wooden door before them. According to Kate, the Vice-President was behind this door, and would be the one to oversee this contract thing he would be signing. Tamaki wondered if he should take up that offer to bring the others here, but who knows how they'd take all this. He did, however, want Haruhi back immediately. He still didn't know what this 'incubation' entailed, but it didn't sound good to him at all no matter what Kate said._

_Not a minute later, the door slowly opened, a creaking noise whining in Tamaki's ears. A middle aged woman in a gray business suit and her red hair in a tight bun looked out at them, completely bored._

_"Forrest, Conrad," she drawled. "The Vice-President will see you now."_

_Kate and Jared instantly quieted and stood, the former motioning for Tamaki to follow._

__'I hope Jared is wrong about the Vice-President,' _thought Tamaki._

_The office was very large, larger than his father's even. Bookcases lined every shelf and whatever wall space wasn't covered by various degrees and honors was plastered with Beatles posters. Near the large window in the back was a plain, wooden desk, and the man sitting behind it was a large, beefy man with graying black hair and a massive handle bar mustache._

_The Vice-President studied them, taking extra care with Tamaki, and put down the book he'd been reading while pulling his computer monitor close. He typed something on the keyboard, and the computer whirred for a few seconds before the Vice-President finally spoke._

_"Tamaki Suoh," he said in a booming, yet distracted voice. "Male lead of Ouran High School Host Club… 17 years old… born April 8th… Un-contracted…"_

_The man spoke the last part much slower than the others. His eyes went from whatever was on the monitor to Tamaki, who had to force himself to maintain eye contact. He really didn't like the way this man was looking at him._

_"I see that you should be in a fan fiction right now," the Vice-President continued. "A story known as… 'Tamaki and Gianna n luv 4eva!' by 'TamakinGagalurver47,' or Wendee."_

_Jared retched somewhere in the background._

_The Vice-President shifted positions and rested his laced fingers at the front of his desk._

_"You know, you being here is detrimental to completing that young girls story. Isn't it part of your character to see that all young ladies are happy?"_

_Tamaki bit his lip. He tried to tell himself that this man was playing dirty and he shouldn't let himself be cowed, but he couldn't help the guilty feelings this comment aroused in him._

_"Sir," Kate stepped forward. "Tamaki here is well aware of that, but he also has to think of his own happiness and that of his friends and loved ones."_

_"Hmmm…" the man rubbed his chin. "So then, I assume he's here to make a contract?"_

_Kate nodded while Jared sent a death glare to the large, older man._

_Tamaki waited with baited breath, praying to every god possibly in existence that this would work and the Vice-President would turn out to be a nice guy despite the sinister look on his face and give him the contract peacefully._

_"I'm afraid that can't be done."_

_…well, so much for that._

_"Why not?" Tamaki demanded, approaching the desk. "Isn't it my right to ask for one?"_

_"Of course," the Vice-President agreed. "It's your right to ask and it's my right to refuse."_

_"Wha- wha-" Tamaki was completely lost for words._

_"Unfortunately for you," the large man went on. "You came right in the middle of a story, and it would be too much trouble to switch locations from your world to Empty Space now. Not to mention you're only one of the major characters in your series, I'd need to have all seven of them here to make a contract with you."_

_"Since WHEN?" Jared raged, slamming his fists on the desk. "You're making shit up you greedy bastard!"_

_The Vice-President was not amused. "Mr. Conrad, I don't appreciate swearing. Must we extend your own contract another few years?"_

_At this, Jared immediately backed off and ran for the door._

_"Sorry, buddy," he called to Tamaki. "Can't help you."_

_The door slammed shut, leaving Kate to grind her teeth in frustration and Tamaki to desperately plead with the Vice-President._

_"Sir, please have a heart," Tamaki begged. "If you won't give me a contract, will you at least let Haruhi out of incubation? Please, she must be cold and scared and wanting her daddy!"_

_The Vice-President raised an eyebrow. "Oh my, you really are that stupid."_

_Tamaki had no time to answer that as the large man stood out, revealing that he completely towered over the already tall Tamaki._

_"Don't worry about your Haruhi," he sniffed. "I've received word that Ms. Wendee has decided to include her in the story after all."_

_Tamaki's eyes widened. "She… she has?"_

_The man smiled, but there was no warmth. "That's right, she managed to find a place for Ms. Fujioka after all. You'll see her when you go back, right about… now."_

_A vortex opened right in front of Tamaki and Kate. The latter cursed and fumbled for her pocket, pulling out the flesh colored bracelet as an unseen force pulled her towards the swirling hole. She gave Tamaki a deeply apologetic look as she pulled the bracelet on._

_"I'm so sorry," she told him, her eyes beginning to change back to Gianna's blue. "Just remember, none of it is real."_

_Tamaki couldn't answer, he couldn't talk at all. The force of the vortex was impossible to fight and he found himself being sucked into it along with Kate/Gianna. The last thing Tamaki saw was the smug, smirking face of the Vice-President before the white void of Empty Space surrounded him. Tamaki closed his eyes, not wanting to see it and willing an image of Haruhi's smiling face into his mind._

_As long as he could see her again, Tamaki could bear whatever happened next._

**  
 **So Tamaki and Gianna are in an empty classroom practicing for the prom tomorrow. They dance to Just Dance because they cant dance to Dance in the Dark all the time.**

**"Your a great dancer Gianna," gushed Tamaki.**

**"You're a great dancer too," said Gianna.**

**They danced asome more and people watched out the window and took pictures for there face book pages but not twitter because I don't like twitter and neither does Gianna.**

**Tamaki and gianna were really happy being alone together but then the door slammed open and they saw Haruhi!**

**"Hold it right there,' the midget girl shouted obnoxiously. "U can't bee wit Tamaki, he's mine."**

**"Beat it, Haruhi," Tamaki shriekd. "I never liked you that way, you're annoying an ugly and not awesome like Gianna."**

**"Yeah, go away, Haruhi," shouted everyone else.**

**"No wai!" Shcreamed the stupid midget. "He luvs me and Gianna's a whore.**

**Tamaki slaped Harhi.**

**"NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN!" HE shouted. "YOUR JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE GIANNA IS A TRILLION TIMES BETER THAN YOU!"**

**And then Haruhi cried like the little bitch she is and runned away, screaming that one day she'd kill Gianna and Take tamaki for herself,**

**But she won't because she sucks and Gianna is way better an coolr and prettier and would kick her ass all over the place. Tamaki would too because Whoreuhi is a stupid elf midget and he hates her.**

**Then they danced some more and where happy because stupid Haruhi wuz gone.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I explained everything well enough, but if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.
> 
> I'd also just like to note that writing that last part of this chapter hurt. A lot. Because I love Haruhi and TamaHaru is my OTP of all OTPs. It really pained me to have to write that... I think I'm going to cry. :,(
> 
> And for the record, Jared most frequently doubles for Edward Elric in FMA yaoi fics. Fitting, huh?


	4. Haruhi, May I?

**It wuz the night of the prom and Tamaki and Gianna were going together in Tamaki's limosine. Tamaki wuz looking really smexy in his tux and Gianna wuz incredibly beautiful in her Versachi dress. In fact, Mr. Versachi wanted Gianna to come be a model for him but she said no because models are stupid sluts and Gianna is far too sofisticated for that.**

**The school looked really nice with lights and streamers made of solid gold and big posters of Tamaki and Gianna everywhere because they've been voted Best Cuple Eva!**

**Then they went inside and everyone cheered and Gianna's ninja squad came out of their ninja shadows to ninja clap for Gianna. Then they went back into ninja hiding.**

**"Oh, Tamaki," says Gianna," I'm so happy. I love you!"**

**"I love you too Gianna, more than anything else in the world combined!"**

**And then they kissed and the ninja DJ played Alejandro because Gianna likes that song better then Dance in the Dark now.**

**Then they danced some more and Hikaru and Kaoru danced with some people and so did Honey and Mory but Kyoya didn't because he's staring at Gianna and he's Kyoya and Kyoya doesn't dance.**

**So then the ninja DJ said. "Everyone quiet, it's time to pick the prom king and queen."**

**Then there was a drum roll and everyone waited with baited breathe. The announcer guy opened the enevelope.**

**"And the winners are… Tamaki and Gianna!"**

**Everyone cheered and Gianna wuz so happy that she jumped into Tamaki's arms and he carried her to the stage where they got there crowns and the other hosts congrajewlated them.**

**"And hear are the crowns for the king and queen."**

**The annoucner guy gave Tamaki his crown and he put it on his head. Then he took the other crown and went to Gianna. They looked at each other with so much loving and passionate that everyone fainted from the awesomeness but they woke up in time to see Gianna get her crown so don't worry.**

**Tamaki reached up and started to put the crown on her head in slow motion! But then the doors opened again!**

**"Stop!" shouted a bitchy voice.**

**It was Haruhi! Back to ruin Tamaki's life with her crapiness. Everyone booed and Haruhi ran to the stage and grabbed the crown.**

**"This crown should be for me," she screamed stupid bitchily. "Tamaki luvs mee not u u bitch!"**

**"Haruhi," Tamaki was really pissed off now and wanted to stangle Haruhi (but he wouldn't because he's too nice but he totally shouldn't be right now!) "You're such a moron and a bitch. I never liked you, I just pretending because you're a commoner and I felt bad. But your a bitch so I don't feel bad anymore.**

**"But I louve you!" Whoreuhi shriekd and people threw tomatoes at her.**

**"Well, I only love one girl!" Tamaki proclamed. "And only that girl can wear this crown!"**

**He grabed the crown back from Haruhi. She looked at him with sadness but he didn't care.**

**'Haruhi is so stooped,' Tamaki think. 'She's so dumb with her thinking that I love her. Like she's ugly and her hari is stupid and her eyes are all buggish and cute and… cute? Wait why would I** think that…'

_"What?"_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_'Huh? Where am I? What- Why am I doing this?'_

_'Remember, none of it is real!'_

_'Who said that…? Real, it's not… not…'_

_"Senpai?"_

_"HARUHI!"_

Tamaki screamed and fell to his knees, he heard collective gasps, but no one moved to see what was wrong or said a single word. The silence was creeping him out, until the memories of all that had happened to him began to come back.

Tamaki shot to his feet, eyes darting at the audience who stood stock still in a rather unnatural manner. He turned to Haruhi and felt a rush of awful emotions upon seeing the conspicuous handprint on her beautiful face.

_'Oh, Haruhi, I'm sorry. So, so, so sorry. I'll never hurt you again, my love.'_

"Tamaki!" A voice whined in his ear. "Why aren't you giving me the crown?"

Cringing, Tamaki turned to Gianna, who looked quite a bit less attractive now than when he was in his trance. That hair and those eyes and pretty much all of her was just unnatural. He felt the weight of the crown in his hand and rubbed his finger against the jewel in the center.

"Because," he began. From her vantage point, Tamaki's eyes were completely covered by his hair, and the flat tone of his voice left her with no way of knowing where this was going. "Only the girl I love can wear this crown."

He looked at Haruhi. Her teeth were grit and her eyes were wild in a way that was so much NOT his Haruhi, but even so, he knew she was in there, somewhere behind this hate fueled persona she'd been given by an angry fan. He only hoped this would be enough to bring her true self back out.

With a loving smile, Tamaki approached Haruhi and, in front of all his hypnotized friends and possibly some very confused fangirl sitting before a computer screen, placed the crown on her head.

"You, Haruhi," he said warmly. "I love you more than anything in the world. You're absolutely right, this crown belongs to you. The REAL you."

She gasped, but not in an overdramatic way like everyone else in this story did. There was real, genuine amazement written all over her face. With her mouth open just a tiny bit, she looked so much more like the Haruhi he knew, and Tamaki's heart soared.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as he turned to face Gianna.

"I'm sorry, Gianna," he said, his smile becoming sad. "You're a beautiful, smart, wonderful person. You really are perfect in every way, and it's for this reason that you and I could never be."

Gianna blinked, and Tamaki had to wonder how much of what he was seeing in her was still Gianna, and how much was Kate taking back control.

"Because… I'm perfect?" She repeated, completely awestruck.

Tamaki nodded. "You see, I'm notperfect. I'm overemotional, I'm naïve to a fault and I act like a child, I know and accept that part of myself."

He pulled Haruhi tighter to him.

"Haruhi is too blunt for her own good and never lets herself have too much fun in life. She needs to lighten up and learn to relax and have friends. We're both flawed people and real or not, that's what makes us human. When we're together, Haruhi and I can learn from each other's strengths and faults, and we can create a balance between us. That is something I would never trade for mere perfection."

He watched Gianna's face go through a plethora of different emotions. In the complete silence, he could hear every little noise that came out of her mouth as well as the heavy breathing of Haruhi beside him.

He was surprised that Haruhi hadn't said anything yet. In her current state, he'd have assumed that she would start to gloat at Gianna or something, but she'd been oddly quiet. Tamaki looked down and found her staring aimlessly at Gianna, almost as if she were sleeping with her eyes open.

"Haruhi?" Tamaki cautiously spoke.

Like she was electrocuted, Haruhi jumped and took in a deep breath. Blinking her adorable eyes in confusion, she glanced up at her senpai, tilting her head to one side.

"Senpai?" She said. "What's going on?"

Unfortunately for her (or maybe not) Tamaki was too busy hugging her and crying into her shoulder to give any kind of answer. The contact made her tense up, but she didn't pull away.

Only when he heard Gianna give a sigh did Tamaki finally let go and look at her again. She was smirking and fingering her wrist where the bracelet rested unseen.

"That's it," she declared with a shrug. "The End."

The vortex's appearance was instantaneous, as was Tamaki's reaction to it.

"Kyoya!" He shouted to his bewildered and only just 'waking up' best friend. "Everyone, follow me."

"Tamaki, what-"

"Don't ask questions," he ordered, pulling Haruhi to the vortex after Gianna. "Just come on, I'll explain on the way!"

**  
 _The Vice President's jaw was hanging open. Lucky for him, only his indifferent secretary could see him right now, but it was hardly consolation for what he'd just read on TamakinGagalurver's profile:_

'I've decided to cancel an take down Tamaki and Gianna n luv 4eva! It got all weird like the story wuz running away from me or something lol. Plus, I don't realy like Ouran anymore. I just luv Black Butler now! Sebastian is soooooooooooooooo hawt and smexy and awesome! Lol. So look out for my new story where Sebastian finds love with a beautiful angel named Titiana! It'll be called 'Sebastian and Titiana 4ever and ever and ever with love and happiness!'

_Not only that, refreshing the page revealed she'd changed her username to 'Sebbyswife4eva'._

_Sweating profusely, the Vice- President looked pleadingly to his secretary._

_"Joan, does Black Butler have a contract with us?"_

_The vortex reopened before he got an answer. The Vice President felt his heart sink when Tamaki Suoh stepped out with Haruhi Fujioka, followed closely by Kyoya Ootori and the rest of the Ouran main characters. Kate Forrest was the last one out, still in her now useless Gianna Tsuki dress._

_"Hello again, Mr. Vice-President!" Tamaki greeted him cheerfully. "I've brought the rest of the club, so we can go ahead with that contract now, right?"_

_"Uh…" was all that the large man could say._

**  
The Host Club was lounging around in the club room after hours. Really, they all should have gone home long ago as evidenced by the full moon hanging in the sky. Traveling between universes seemed to mess with your perception of time.

The process of getting a contract set up had taken several hours and a lot of explaining on the parts of Kate and Jared, whom Kate had caught wandering around the cafeteria and forced to come along and apologize to Tamaki. Once that was done, Kyoya took over most of the negotiations, and proved once and for all why he was the Shadow King, spinning circles around the Vice-President's head and leaving him a crying mess when all was said and done.

The club had agreed to play themselves in General fics and Canon pairing fics only. The last one was a bit difficult considering only Tamaki and Haruhi had love interests, but that was solved with a clause proposed by Kyoya, stating that he and the rest of the un-paired off club members would have the option of using a stunt double in the event of a Tamaki/Haruhi fic that paired them with someone they didn't want. Such as each other.

"I really don't see why you're making such a big deal about this," Kyoya sighed exasperatedly at the twins, who were sitting as far away from each other as possible and shaking as if they'd just watched a particularly scary movie. "You've been doing your twincest act for all this time, did you really expect no one to take it even a little bit seriously?"

"I feel sick," Hikaru muttered to himself.

"I feel dirty," Kaoru whimpered, wrapping his arms around his body.

Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep his frustration in check.

"It amazes me that none of you are more bothered by the fact that we technically aren't real."

"That's not really a big deal," Haruhi shrugged. "I mean, haven't we been breaking the fourth wall around here since day one?"

Nobody could deny that one.

Tamaki, meanwhile, sat away from his friends staring out the window. Like them, he had a lot of things on his mind at the moment, including but not limited to his last talk with Kate before leaving the 'real world.'

**  
 _"We had a pretty crazy adventure, huh?" Kate joked as she and Tamaki stood before the vortex that would be taking the latter home. "It was nice to meet you for real, Tamaki."_

_"You as well," Tamaki smiled charmingly. "No offense, but you're much more pleasant company as yourself than as someone like Gianna."_

_"Oh, believe me," Kate answered flatly. "No offense taken."_

_Tamaki nodded and glanced at the slightly intimidating portal. He heard Kate gave a soft sigh and looked at her again._

_"So, you and Haruhi an item yet?"_

_Tamaki blushed so hard, his entire face turned comically red. "W-well, I'd say that for the writers to decide."_

_"Not always," Kate shook her head, flashing an odd sort of smile. "They don't really control you, you're still your own person no matter what they do."_

_Kate then looked away and coughed nervously, bringing up a hand to rub the back of her neck._

_"Besides I… I kinda ship you two."_

_Tamaki blinked. "Ship?"_

_Kate just laughed softly and guided Tamaki to the vortex. "Don't worry about it, just tell Haruhi how you feel when you get back, okay?"_

**  
The conversation was still fresh in his mind. He'd been sucked into the vortex before anymore could be said, but at least he knew what kind of answer he'd wanted to give. The problem wasn't so much how he really felt about Haruhi, because he knew that now. The question now was how did she feel about him?

"Senpai?"

Tamaki immediately sat up straight and at attention. It was time to find out, it seemed.

Haruhi walked around the throne-like chair, looking down at her upperclassmen with that cute look she always wore when something was bothering her.

"What are you doing all the way over here?" She asked.

He gave a chuckle and smiled charmingly at her, knowing she wouldn't be affected by it much.

"Nothing, just thinking about some things," he answered vaguely.

This didn't seem to satisfy Haruhi, but she still nodded her head and made to leave him alone; Tamaki's hand shooting up and grabbing hers halted her movements.

"Haruhi," he said. "You don't remember anything that happened in that story, do you?"

Haruhi blinked and Tamaki nearly fainted from the cuteness of it. "No, not really. I just remember waking up with you holding me. I don't know how I got there."

Tamaki felt the cold grip of disappointment clutching his stomach, but easily covered it up with another smile.

"Oh, alright," he answered softly.

"Were you hoping I would?" Haruhi pressed.

Inwardly, Tamaki gave a sardonic laugh. Of course Haruhi had seen past his false smile. She could always see past him.

"Honestly, yes," he answered after a slight pause. "I wanted to let you know that I meant everything I said."

"Huh?"

Tamaki didn't answer that, just leaned forward and patted the seat directly across from him.

"Sit down," he requested. "It's kind of a long story."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is technically the end of the story, but there is an epilogue which will be posted tomorrow. Thank you to everyone who read, favorited and reviewed this story. That would mean that you actually got though the 'suefic' portions of this story and for that, you really should get a medal or something. I'm being completely sincere here. XD
> 
> So, that's the end. I may one day write a semi-original story about M.S. Corp and it's employees. Not just Kate and Jared, but others as well. I don't know, that remains to be seen. Either way, thank you again for reading and I'll see you tomorrow!


	5. Michelle, May I?

**_SOME TIME LATER_ **

"Afternoon, Gentlemen!"

Tamaki had a wide grin on his face as he and Haruhi walked into the third music room. Aside from Hunny, who waved furiously, nobody spared them more than a glance. Oddly enough, the hosts weren't spread out at their respective tables like usual. Instead, they hovered over Kyoya's laptop, intently reading whatever it was on the screen.

"More fan fiction?" Haruhi predicted.

"What else?" Hikaru muttered in response.

"This one's really good!" Hunny declared, hugging Usa-chan tighter. "My OC girlfriend owns a cake factory! It's too bad the writer didn't put Haru-chan and Tama-chan together."

"Yeah," Mori agreed.

"Oh come on," an exasperated Hikaru cried. "This so-called story is awful! I can barely even read it with all the misspelled words and messed up punctuation. It's like these fangirls don't even understand their own language!"

"They're not all bad," Kaoru attempted to calm his older brother.

"Yeah, Hikaru," Haruhi piped in, walking over. "Some of them really are trying their hardest to make a good story."

"I know that," the red head answered with slight defensiveness. "But this one certainly isn't."

Haruhi gave Hikaru a flat look and shifted positions so she could get a look at the computer screen. She read three sentences, then instantly took back any rebuttal she might have had for Hikaru's criticism.

"Come on, guys," Tamaki choose this moment to enter the conversation. "We've all read a bunch of fanfics about us, and we've seen some good ones."

"Yeah, _very few_ good ones," Hikaru specified. "Personally, I think most people in that 'real world' are insane."

"Wouldn't blame them," added Kaoru. "That place was really weird. When we were there, everything felt all… slanted."

Tamaki just stared at the younger twin.

Kyoya sighed softly and closed the page he was on, going back to the main archive and scrolling up and down with no real destination in mind.

"Well, at least we still have the good writers to balance out the bad," he remarked.

"Not _enough_ good writers," said Hikaru.

"Hikaru, don't be so negative," Tamaki slapped the older twin on the back in a friendly manner. "Whether bad or good, these writers only do it because they love us."

"That… varies," Hikaru muttered in a low voice that nobody heard.

"And besides," Tamaki went on. "All the bad stories do is make the good ones all the more special and remind us of how much we should treasure them. After all, some of these fans may become acclaimed writers some day."

To that, Hikaru didn't have a retort, so he just nodded his head while everyone else gave murmurs of agreement. The Host Club looked through a couple more stories before putting the laptop away and going back to their usual routines. Pretty soon, they'd be put into another fanfic, they all knew it and even though they might not say it out loud, they knew it wasn't all bad. Until that time came again, it was just a normal day at Ouran Academy.

**  
 _With those final words written, she leaned back to reread her work, a small smile tugging at her lips as glasses framed brown eyes scanned the page._

_"Not bad," she said to herself, pushing a stray piece of brown hair behind one ear. "I'd say that's a good ending."_

_She saved the document file and then re-opened one of her in-progress stories. She was long overdue in working on those. She typed away, stopping and starting again at various intervals and singing along to her ever present ipod._

_"I'm going marry the night… I won't give up on my life… I'm a warrior queen, live passionately tonight…"_

**THE END**


End file.
